We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
