I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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