yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
