Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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