why didn't you poke me back
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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