Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
