Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
