i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
