She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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