she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
