If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
