this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
