it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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