Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize