is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
