Apparently you make a good broom.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
