would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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