I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
