can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
