i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
