all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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