So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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