We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
