i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
