What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
