I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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