I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
