Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
