one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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