Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
