It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
