my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
