God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
