My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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