I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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