Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
