Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
