I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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