I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
this hospital has no fireball
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
