he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
