i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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