So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
