If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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