Sry I called you an 8
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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