This is not my ceiling
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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