I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
