I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
