And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
