Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
two words: eviction party
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
