Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
