Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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