Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
